The countdown 20

I have been sicker recently.. to tired and lazy to write my thoughts.I found out something intresting a couple of days ago. when I was about 25, I did not know much about philosophy, Albert Camus, Nietzsche,... However I remember a night, I was with my friends from medical schools, driving in underpass and pulling each others legs and making fun of each other.they know more or less about my pessimistiv views about life. one of them ask, let ask Esmaeel, what is his opinion about life? and I said ".-persian: زندگی کس شعری بیش نیست" which roughly translates into" life is absurd" and they laughed.It insteresting that 2 completly seperate minds, in different time lines, different circumstances came into same definition about life. I hate life but at the same time I don't want to die. intresting isn't it. well, the nature is doing its thing any way,... getting close to 40. the magical number. I am not sure I see it.